16 July 2013

The Daughters & The DOMA decision (June 28, 2013)

It’s easy for me. I guess. Well, first off, the whole growing-up-in-the-San-Francisco-Bay-Area thing probably helped. Plus being not just Jewish but an active and engaged Reform Jew who believes deeply in ideas related to social justice, I am predisposed to embracing pluralism, acceptance and tolerance. All that is why I don’t understand why a Defense of Marriage Act would exclude people who want to get married.

This week was a watershed week in American life given the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn DOMA. To overturn DOMA is to say: Gay couples have the right to be married with benefits like Heterosexual couples. That, my friends, is fair. That is tzedek. Whether or not you agree with the idea of gay marriage – which how you can’t I’m not quite sure (see paragraph #1) – it is kind of like denying Global Climate Change and interestingly some of the same people who deny gay marriage also reject humanity’s impact on the environment … an interesting side-note – but back to my point, whether or not you agree with gay marriage, surely we can agree that all people deserve the same rights and benefits of being American citizens. And if two adults are willing to commit to one another in a partnership for which they want to be one another’s spouse – then so be it. Their sexual orientation is of no importance. And if our country is hung up on the term marriage, and we think that is a religious term, then let religious institutions define marriage and our civil/secular/national society simply call everyone bound in civil unions.

I am very proud that our congregation not only is accepting of gay couples but that we have declared the willingness to allow for heterosexual and homosexual couples to be united in our sanctuary. It was a bold move but one which we did not to be bold but simply because it was/is the right thing to do. By the way, we accept straight and gay individuals who are not in committed relationships as well in our congregation. J

Of all the weeks for the Highest Court in the Land to make a decision, this week probably could not have been a better one in terms of our Torah portion. In Numbers 27, we read a fabulous story that works very well with DOMA and the SC this week. There are five daughters – five women, none of whom are married and whose father, Tzelofchad, dies. Normal procedure in ancient Israel was for the land inheritance to go to the son(s) of the deceased man. Sidebar: In ancient Israel, women needed to be connected to a man to have economic safety – either as a daughter, a sister, a wife, or a mother. When Tzelofchad dies, his daughters are stuck: no father, no husbands, no brother. So they do what we do as Jews: they begin asking questions. And they took their questions and their case to the highest authority in the land: Moses. And Moses, our teacher/rabbi, did what every rabbi does when s/he has a question – we go to our teacher(s). Moses went to God – the Supremest Court – and received a responsum, a teshuvah, an answer. The women would get the land inheritance. Why? Because it was fair, it was right, and the law had not been considered fully when it was initially handed down. In next week’s parasha, the people appeal to Moses: wait – that is not fair because if those daughters (or any future women with such a case, like my brother’s family with three girls) marry out of their tribe, their new family will have land holdings from two tribes. Again, a she’eilah (question) is asked, a teshuvah (answer) is given. The women must marry within their tribe to keep the land holdings fair for everyone.

Tzedek. Tzedakah. Justice. Fairness. Equity. Balance. Whatever happens – we, as Jews, as humans, have a need to create and make balanced, fair decisions. Our worldview is, in some ways, so radically different from our ancestors that a same-gender union was inconceivable for them and thus nothing is written in Torah or in rabbinic literature about such a thing. And yet, they write extensively on stable relationships, families, inheritances, and justice. It is not a far stretch then for us to realize that if two people want to create a stable, loving relationship and family, then justice demands they be allowed to marry, unite and share in life together – legally – and for their children to inherit all those benefits of the union. Regardless of sexual orientation.
To the good work of our nation’s Supreme Court, I say: Yishar koach. And the fact that three of the five justices who voted in favor of declaring DOMA unconstitutional were Jewish should not be overlooked. Nor should it be overlooked that those same three were three of the four dissenters when the day before the Supreme Court declared that Section 4 of the Voting Rights act of 1965 was unconstitutional. Another sermon for another night but for now suffice it to say: The scales of justice are not always balanced. On Wednesday, we had a rally downtown to celebrate the victory of DOMA’s defeat but we noted as well the upsetting news of the decision regarding the Voting Rights Act and the work ahead to protect all U.S. citizens.


For every step back there are steps forward. And for every step forward there are steps back. Our overall progression must be forward, and we as Jews, are commanded to pursue justice, demand justice, and work diligently to make sure that all people are treated fairly. May we always be at the forefront of fighting for equality, tolerance, and peace and link arms with other like-minded souls to bring blessing into this world, in which God created us all little less than Divine. Let’s show God, and each other, how seriously we take our place in Creation. 

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